Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
