I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
