So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
