But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
