kristin has been a bad kristin
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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