big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
