I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
