WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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