I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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