doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
