my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
soo... how was my night?
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