that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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