I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
