All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
