oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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