Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
