Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
