I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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