Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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