I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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