Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Randomize
