It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You're like the curious george of whores
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
