nut hugger
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
