plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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