Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
