I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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