Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
