you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
