oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we made out on top of his cat.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize