i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
