You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
