is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
