A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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