I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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