i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
