She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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