You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
