He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
only you would photoshop your dick
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
