i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
my liver is dry heaving
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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