He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
