so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
