Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
