and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
