well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
