im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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