When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
