dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
