It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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