Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i wish my penis had a tongue
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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