College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
