can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
