epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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