sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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