you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Randomize
