they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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