some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
