idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
