And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
