I love black thongs
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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