There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
