I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
