dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
