I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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