Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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