If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
