I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
