i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
